Old Doxoblogy

Thursday, September 22, 2005

Mr. Planter Is A Peanut Brain!

I like Planter's peanuts. They're good. And as I sit here at my desk writing this post, I can see that the folks at Planter's are concerned about my health. I know this because of what I see written on the can inside a big, bright, red heart.
A Handful A Day May Be Good For Your Heart

Really?!?! Tell me more! And they do. In the smallish print located under the heart, the good people at Planter's supply a bit more information.
Scientific evidence suggests but does not prove that eating 1.5 ounces per day of nuts, such as peanuts, almonds, pistachios, pecans & hazelnuts, as part of a diet low in saturated fat & cholesterol & not resulting in increased calorie intake may reduce the risk of coronary heart disease.

Thank you Planter's. Thank you for informing me that your peanuts may or may not be good for me. Thank you for telling me that they may or may not be bad for me, too.
Come on people! Do you really think that we're that stupid? That you can put a picture of a heart on a product and tell us that it may be good for us, and then we'll run out and buy it?
Why not just write, Peanuts may give you superhuman powers?
Or maybe we are that stupid. Just ask Pecadillo. He thinks we are.


Steve Weaver said...

Excellent post! Keep up the good work!

Jeremy Weaver said...

I think it's some of my finer work as well.

Steve Weaver said...

Yes, but you had no where to go but up!

John said...

Man, thats nuts!

J. Wendell said...

What about popcorn? Is it OK to eat popcorn? Can one still have a good testamony and eat pop corn?

Jeremy Weaver said...

J Wendell,
A handful of popcorn a day may draw you closer to Christ.
Then again, it may send you to that 'unmentionable place'.

Rose said...

Ambiguous speculation vs. truth in advertising. What is the world coming to? :)

Rose said...

Or is that :-) I kind of like the nose. what about :~)

John Rush said...

Superhuman powers? Really? How much does it cost?


Joe said...

YES! They think we are stupid.

They think we are stupid because everyday we go home from work with a microscopic accumulation of money in our pockets, while the execs at Planters, having convinced us to part with our money for the possible health benefits afforded, go home with ten of thousands.

Since they measure things by the accumulation of money, they must be smarter than we are.

Could it be....nah.

Rose~ said...

I just checked out "Pecadillo"s blog. What a humorous person! Do you know him or did you just find him when you were "searching for evildoers"?

Jeremy Weaver said...

I do not know the Pecadillo. Just like I do not know anyone of any import. I think that Pecadillo is Pyro's nephew.