Yesterday was a great day for me. I received in the mail, a prayer rug, which if it touches both knees while I am praying, I can have whatever I want. This was sent to me free from the good folks at Saint Matthews Church, somewhere in the U. S.
I don't have the letter in front of me right now, because if I had kept the letter and prayer rug for more than twenty-four hours, my blessing would have become a curse. And they assured me, God sees. So, I was sure to ask for a million dollars, a new three story home with no property taxes on three and a half acres of land in a gated community. I'll be moving soon. I'll also have more time to blog, since I'm quitting my job today.
Actually, this is a pretty clever scam. There are enough untaught Christians out there, that sooner or later you're going to find enough who don't have any biblical knowledge and will fall for these lines. And they make sure that you return your prayer rug and 'love gift' before you find out that it is a fraud.
This got me to thinking. I'm praying over some old pieces of over-sprayed Line-X now, and I will be sending these out with a blessing from God on them. When you receive yours, put on your forehead as you lie flat on your back, and ask God for whatever you want. Money, cars, homes, women, anything. But you must return this the very next day. God is watching. He knows if you wait a day and a half to return the piece of crap, er, anointed Line-X. If you wish to donate to this ministry, make the checks payable to Jeremy Weaver. Cash is O. K. too.